8 first date dos and don'ts

1. Be positive, upbeat and enthusiastic. No woe-is-me or pity-pot whining. Make eye contact, smile, be friendly and be yourself.

2. Be a good listener. Ask questions about him. Avoid talking too much, and don't talk about your ex (es). If he asks about them, be honest, but don't dwell on how good or bad they were. Answer briefly, then bounce a question back to him.

3. Show interest, but don't gush. Compliment him on something — assuming there is something — like his shoes, shirt, haircut or smile. Don't paw him. Guys think women who touch too soon or too much are suggesting intimacy.

4. Use proper etiquette. Dress appropriately for the occasion. Avoid eating spinach or anything that might stick in your teeth. No lipstick or mirror at the table; no toothpick going out the door.

5. Don't order the most expensive item on the menu. A glass of house wine is fine — you don't need Sonoma County's finest cabernet.

6. Don't be confrontational or argumentative. Don't proclaim, "I hate sex" or "No sex for six months" or some other turnoff. Unless you mean it. And if you do, you may not have a second date.

7. Don't be a bore. Don't name-drop or talk about your wealth, or lack thereof.

8. End the date on a high note. When the date is winding down, be assertive (not aggressive). Say something like, "I'm going to a picnic on Sunday, would you like to join me?" Don't leave it open-ended by saying, "Let's get together sometime."

Look him in the eye and say, "I had a great time. We seemed to click. I want to see you again." If you follow these tips, and he still doesn't ask you out, forget him -- he's not the right guy for you. You put your best foot forward, and you wouldn't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you.


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